Forced marriage survivor shares her story for awareness day

A woman who survived honour-based abuse and was coerced into entering a forced marriage has said that she felt “she had to get out of the situation if she wanted to stay alive.”

The woman, whose identity has been protected, has spoken to Nottinghamshire Police about her experiences as part of a week of action in memory of Shafilea Ahmed who was murdered by her parents in an honour-based killing in Warrington in 2003.

She was told by a family relation that she had to marry if she wanted to move to England to pursue further education.

She was forced into a marriage against her will and endured years in an abusive relationship before eventually finding the courage to leave.

“I attempted to leave the relationship a number of times because I realised all my autonomy had been taken away and it was making me unwell,” she said.

“However, when I tried to escape, a family member of the perpetrator said if I left that I would bring shame upon the family and wouldn’t ever find happiness so I didn’t feel like I could speak up.”

Honour-based abuse is a term used to describe a crime or incident committed to protect or defend the 'honour' of a family or community.

The woman now dedicates herself to using her lived experience to educate people about honour-based abuse.

Since her forced marriage, she added: “Even if I have just five years to live after escaping my situation, I am happy that I am able to live my life on my own terms.”

Karma Nirvana, a specialist charity for victims and survivors committed to ending honour-based abuse in the UK, holds a day of memory on July 14 every year to remember those who have lost their lives.

The charity, who work alongside Nottinghamshire Police, hosts an awareness week between July 8 and 14 each year to increase the understanding of honour-based abuse and empower survivors to get the help they need.

Nottinghamshire Police works closely with Karma Nirvana to train officers across the force so that they are equipped to deal with honour-based abuse and can best safeguard victims.

Officers with this training understand the cultural sensitivities around honour-based abuse offences such as forced marriage and female genital mutilation.

As part of the Prevention Hub, Nottinghamshire Police has a dedicated honour-based abuse team who specialise in this area.

The Prevention Hub is a collaboration between multiple force departments responsible for developing and delivering strategies to prevent crime and disorder throughout the city and county.

The honour-based abuse team work tirelessly to safeguard victims by referring them to partner agencies for specialist support and can help to arrange any safeguarding measures the survivor may need.

Forced marriage occurs when one or both people do not or cannot consent to the marriage but are coerced into it by their families or community.

It is illegal in the UK under the Forced Marriage Act 2007 and it is against the law for anyone to plan a wedding for any person under the age of 18.

Detective Inspector Abi Goucher, Nottinghamshire Police’s Prevention Hub safeguarding lead, said: “We take cases of honour-based abuse incredibly seriously and will always handle these cases with great sensitivity.

“Anyone can fall victim to this type of abuse and it is important that people are aware of the signs that someone might be being coerced into a forced marriage.

“This can include a surprise engagement to a stranger you have not heard of, a sudden holiday or not returning from a visit overseas, and running away from home.

“Karma Nirvana’s day of memory serves as a reminder of how devastating honour-based abuse is. This crime takes lives, and this is why we strongly encourage people to report any concerns they may have.”

Report and Support

To report any crime or information to Nottinghamshire Police, you can call 101 or use the Live Chat and online reporting system on our website.

Information can be provided anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

Always call 999 in an emergency.

For a free helpline to support victims and survivors of honour-based abuse, call Karma Nirvana on 0800 5999 247.