Don't be that Guy
'Don't be That Guy' urges men to question their behaviour towards women
Ever called a girl babe or whistled at her walking down the street?
Ever stared at a woman on the bus and said to your mate, “I’d do that”?
You ever give a girl a compliment like, “like nice” and wondered why you didn’t get a “thank you”?
Ever slid into a girls DMs and showed her it? You ever bought a girl dinner and thought that meant she owed you something?
Ever got her three shots in a row hoping that meant you’d get a shot of her?
Then what? Bundled her, wasted, into a taxi and took her back to yours?
You ever guilt tripped her, pressured her, or pushed her into it and then left feeling like a lad?
Most men don’t look in the mirror and see a problem, but it’s staring right back at us. Sexual violence starts long before you think it does.
Don’t be that guy.
Men are being encouraged to question their attitudes and behaviours towards women as part of a hard-hitting police campaign on sexual violence.
Nottinghamshire Police’s latest crime prevention campaign explores one of the root causes of violence against women – the attitudes and behaviours of men.
Building on an award-wining initiative by Police Scotland, the force is urging men to ask questions about their own actions and language towards women – and also to challenge inappropriate and misogynistic behaviour by friends.
The That Guy campaign is built around a video featuring a series of local actors from Bilborough College. The video highlights some common male behaviours that can later lead to sexual offences against women.
Detective Chief Inspector Claire Gould, tactical lead for violence against women and girls at Nottinghamshire Police, said: “Sexual violence by men against women is so often the result of attitudes and behaviours that are learned over a long period of time.
“As this video makes clear those behaviours aren’t always overtly aggressive in nature, but they can contribute to a wider culture that demeans, belittles and objectifies women.
“Left unchecked those behaviours – from wolf-whistling and name calling to the sending of unsolicited explicit images – can create a sense of male entitlement that could potentially lead to acts of sexual violence.
“An example that immediately comes to mind is around consent and the pressuring or cajoling of partners or dates into sexual activity. This kind of behaviour not only shows a lack of respect and understanding for others – it could also lead to a criminal prosecution and all the consequences that come with that.
“Ultimately sexual violence against women starts long before most people think it does, often with small acts of contempt and disregard for the feelings of others.
“This video does a great job of highlighting and challenging those behaviours and I am grateful to our colleagues at Police Scotland for allowing us to build on their original concept, which has rightly won multiple awards.”
The video, produced by Nottingham’s Take 1 Studios and released to coincide with national White Ribbon Day, features a series of young men posing questions to viewers and challenging them to consider whether their own behaviour makes them ‘That Guy’ who is part of a wider problem.
Chief Inspector Gould added: “It should go without saying that most men do not behave in the ways described in this video, but all men can be part of the solution by looking in the mirror and thinking more closely about how they, their friends and their family talk about and treat women.”
Gavin Gordon, an actor and Take 1 teacher who also appears in the video, said: “This is such an important message, and I was delighted that we were able to help in the production of this video.
“What I really like about it is the way it really makes you think about and question your own behaviour and your own attitudes, and the way it makes you think about the experiences of women.
“Ultimately, I think we do need to change as a society and that change can only come by talking to each other. I really believe that this video will help to promote those healthy conversations and I hope as many people as possible are able to see it..